Mum Guilt, why it sucks and how it has become the driving force behind my sessions…
My Husband turned to me the other day and said “Claire, you feel guilty about EVERYTHING don’t you?”
And it struck me that yes, I really do.
As soon as that little baby came out of my stomach, along with the shock and adrenaline rush, came something I wasn’t expecting – a huge helping of Mum-Guilt.
I felt guilty that I had to have a caesarean as I hadn’t had the “natural” birthing experience I had been preparing myself for…
I felt guilty that I couldn’t breastfeed.
I felt guilty that I couldn’t take her out for walks to start off with because I was so sore and uncomfortable.
I felt guilty that I was having these feelings when I should have been in that ‘bubble of love’ you are meant to have when your baby is born.
….and from that day it never really went away.
I felt guilty if she didn’t get enough tummy-time.
I felt guilty that I hadn’t joined enough baby groups.
When my Son was born, I felt guilty about how I no longer had enough time for my Daughter and whether I was doing all the things for him that I had done for her....
…and on and on it went.
And each day that passes I try to go easy on myself but its always there, niggling in the back of my head…
And I know I am not alone in how I feel.
Every Mum I speak to feels guilty about something.
Do we play with them enough?
Do they have too much screen time?
Do we work too much? Do we work enough? Are we setting a good example for our children?
Its is like we are programmed to overthink and beat ourselves up about *every little thing*, and then all of these little things combine until we feel that we aren't a good enough parent.
Someone recently said to me that kids don’t need perfect parents, they just need parents who are 'good enough'.
...and that really struck a chord with me.
Because I truly believe that we are all good enough.
And I am on a mission to help Mums see this for themselves.
I think part of our reluctance to get in the frame with our babies is a fear that we aren't worthy. Maybe we don't look the way we think we 'should', don't have the 'perfect' house or the most expensive clothes.
Maybe we think that in order to have 'nice' family photos we need to be in a studio with matching outfits, have 'perfectly' behaved children or spend our time frolicking in a field at sunset...
...and I think, in part, that this is down to Mum-Guilt. We constantly compare ourselves to others and become buried in the guilt of what we think we 'should' have and what we think we 'should' be doing.
And that needs to change.
I want to show you that YOU ARE ENOUGH.
I want you to see that YOUR LIFE IS ENOUGH.
YOUR HOME IS ENOUGH.
EVERYTHING YOU DO FOR YOUR CHILDREN IS ENOUGH.
Our children don’t need an Instagram-worthy house, life or parents.
They need us, just as we are - and that is enough.
Please don't let fear or mum-guilt get in the way of creating memories with your babies.
I won't be able to wave a magic wand and make that Mum-Guilt disappear (because if there was a way to do it I would have done it a LONG time ago)
But if I can help you to see just how amazing you are and how much these little people adore you, my job is done.
Get in touch - I would love to tell your family story, because I promise you its perfect just as it is